This is a parody website. The Slop Police is not a police force. In a real emergency, call 999.

The Slop PoliceVibe Crimes Directorate
Form VC-7Voluntary surrender of vibes

Amnesty

Hand it in and no questions asked. Each offence below has a fix, and all of them make a page better for the people reading it.

Offences and how to fix them
OffenceHow to clear it
Possession of a purple gradientPick colours from your business, not from a component kit. Your van, your shopfront or your logo will do.
Excessive gradientsUse flat colour. Keep one gradient if it earns its place.
Glassmorphism without a licenceGive panels a solid background. Text gets easier to read as well.
Use of language likely to cause a demoSay what you do, for whom and what it costs. If a rival could paste the sentence on their site, cut it.
Aggravated em dashUse full stops. Most of those sentences were two sentences.
Emoji in a public placeDelete the rockets. Keep an emoji only where a person would really type one.
Emoji in a headingLet the words carry the heading.
Fading in with intentShow the content straight away. Animate only when someone does something.
Going equipped with a row of cardsNot everything is a card. Try a sentence, a list or a photo of the real thing.
Failure to describe oneselfWrite one honest sentence and put it in the meta description.
Lorem ipsum left at the sceneRead your own site before anyone else has to.
Abandoned footerUpdate the year, or remove it.
Single-page residencyAdd the pages people ask about, such as prices, areas and contact. Fine if the page is a game or a joke.

Then ask for a re-inspection

Open your crime report and press "Request re-inspection". Officers scan the page again and update your score. Each page can be re-inspected once a day.

Find your report