The force

The Vibe Crimes Directorate was formed when somebody saw the fourth purple gradient of the morning. Its officers do not exist, and neither do their powers of arrest.

Officers, their units and notes

Officer	Unit	Service record
Insp. R. Regex	Head of Vibe Crimes	Signs every report. Has matched everything except a human emotion.
DCI Margaret Kerning	Serious Typography Squad	Can identify Inter from across a car park. Won't be drawn on Space Grotesk.
Sgt. Dev Tools	Forensics	First through the door, always pressing F12.
PC Lighthouse	Traffic	Pulls over slow pages. Gave her own mother a 62.
DC Flexbox	Missing Persons	Still looking for the item that was meant to be centred.
Special Constable Lorem	Undercover	Has been on the same placeholder job since the 1500s.

What actually happens

A small program fetches the page you report, reads its HTML once, and checks it against the Vibe Crimes Act. It doesn't run the page's scripts, log in or look at anything private.

The Slop Police is a joke made by Brand West, a web studio. Yes, we use AI too. Three of our own sites were the first ones charged.