This is a parody website. The Slop Police is not a police force. In a real emergency, call 999.

The Slop PoliceVibe Crimes Directorate
Form VC-9Court of Appeal (Vibes Division)

Appeal a report

Think the officers got it wrong? There are two routes, and neither involves a court.

Your site has changed

Open your crime report and press "Request re-inspection". Officers scan the page again and update the score. Amnesty lists what to fix first.

You want it taken down

If you run the site, email us the address and we will remove the report. You don't need a reason, and we won't argue.

Email info@brandwest.co.uk

Is this a real police matter?

No. Nobody has been accused of a crime, and no police force is involved. If someone has a real crime to report, call 101, or 999 in an emergency.