Form VC-1 (crime report)Official-ish
Crime reference SP/2026/00002
Guilty of
vibes
vibes
Section 1: Suspect page
- Address
- bwest-coin.weathered-base-d9dc.workers.dev
- Calls itself
- $BWEST · The Bristol Consultancy Coin
- Weight
- 9 KB of HTML, 570 words
- Date of report
- 3 November 2026
- Allegation
- Row of three cards
- Complaints
- 1
Section 2: Vibe Index
26out of 100. Category C slop.
Section 3: Known resources
Tools the officers could identify from the page itself.
| Identified | Role |
|---|---|
| Space Grotesk | Font |
| Google Fonts | Font host |
| Brand West Stats | Analytics |
| Cloudflare Workers subdomain | Hosting |
Section 4: Charges
| Offence | Evidence |
|---|---|
| Going equipped with a row of cards | 7 card elements found |
Section 5: Officer's statement
On 3 November 2026 I attended bwest-coin.weathered-base-d9dc.workers.dev after a complaint from a member of the public. On entering the page I identified 4 known associates and recorded 1 offence. When I asked the page who wrote it, it replied that it was "$BWEST · The Bristol Consultancy Coin". I did not find this answer convincing.
Section 6: Sentence
Community service: write one CSS file by hand, in public.
Signed: Insp. R. Regex, Vibe Crimes Directorate. Not a real officer.